Fact sheet · Relationships
A short relationship check-in
About fifteen minutes, once a week, for two tired people who are still on the same team. Say the needs under the recurring argument while you’re calm, not at 3 am.
Type straight into the boxes, then print or save as a PDF, or print it blank and use a pen.
Ground rules
1. What felt hard this week?
One or two moments. Listener: “That sounds hard. What was it like?”
2. What support would help?
Name the need, then one specific request. “Could you do Saturday's early wake-up?” beats “help more”.
3. What did I appreciate?
Small things count. When you're thanked, “thanks for noticing” is enough.
4. One practical agreement
Small and realistic. Who does what, and when? Check how it went next week.
If it turns into the argument
That's normal. Try one of these, then come back to it later.
- “Let's pause. I want to get this right, not win it.”
- “I said that badly. Can I try again?”
- “Can we come back to this on Thursday night?”
When to get more help
Talk to your GP, or contact Mums Matter Psychology, if:
- You keep having the same argument and nothing changes
- One of you feels shut down, hopeless or constantly irritable
- You’re worried about your mood, or your partner’s
Your safety matters. These ideas are for couples where both people feel safe. If you feel afraid of your partner, or they control, threaten or hurt you, a check-in isn’t the right tool. Talk to 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, any time. If you’re in danger, call 000.